I am difficult to deal with, but I am easy going.
I am evil, but I am also good.
I am ill, but I want to stay healthy.
I am weak, but I force myself to be strong.
I am selfish because I want to protect those that I love.
I am greedy but I will never be gullible.
I am jealous that you have other people at your becking call whereas I don't.
I am always labeled as the bad guy, but all I want is to be a good guy.
Seriously, what did I ever do to deserve this?
You said that I'm a nice person. Why can't you be nice to me for a change?
Instead, you pushed me away when I needed you the most. You even told me to leave you alone.
Was I wrong to trust you? Was I wrong to care about you?
Seriously, why have you abandon me...
My Personality
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Dear God...
I prayed every single day for you to forgive me for all my sins, whether it is intentional or unintentional.
I also prayed that I have the strength and courage to keep moving forward in life.
I also prayed that I could make a positive difference in the lives of the people that I met.
I even prayed that I could love anyone and everyone despite what the people have done to me.
I also prayed that I will no longer live in fear and hatred. Instead, to embrace a life of love and compassion.
I know that I'm just a man.
All I ever wanted is to keep the faith.
But I cannot do this alone.
I need to settle down because I am sick and tired of all the violence and animosity that I have gone through. In fact, I have lost someone special in 2003 due to me being careless and indecisive.
I have already atone for all my mistakes. Why give me more challenges? Why give me more tests?
I know You love me. I know that You care for me.
The thing is why people cannot do the same is beyond my understanding.
Anyway, I still believe in an Act of Random Kindness.
From,
Adam Rick Taylor
I also prayed that I have the strength and courage to keep moving forward in life.
I also prayed that I could make a positive difference in the lives of the people that I met.
I even prayed that I could love anyone and everyone despite what the people have done to me.
I also prayed that I will no longer live in fear and hatred. Instead, to embrace a life of love and compassion.
I know that I'm just a man.
All I ever wanted is to keep the faith.
But I cannot do this alone.
I need to settle down because I am sick and tired of all the violence and animosity that I have gone through. In fact, I have lost someone special in 2003 due to me being careless and indecisive.
I have already atone for all my mistakes. Why give me more challenges? Why give me more tests?
I know You love me. I know that You care for me.
The thing is why people cannot do the same is beyond my understanding.
Anyway, I still believe in an Act of Random Kindness.
From,
Adam Rick Taylor
History has repeated itself, over and over again...
Do you know what is frustrating?
It saddens me that the people that I have known as friends for a long time have betrayed me, one way or the other.
The thing is that I do not even know what wrong I have done or what evil I have committed.
All I ever do is try to be there for them, lend them a helping hand and always be there for them no matter what happens, good or bad, we all have to help each other.
Instead of the "give and you shall receive", I get a rapier being stabbed in my back and through my heart.
Tell me, is it a sin to love one another, accepting siblinghood?
WHERE IS THE LOVE?
All I ever wanted is for me to live a healthy and happy life. Is that so much to as for?
Anyway, I do hope that I have the courage to face the future.
And I also prayed to God that they, especially someone, will still be my friends. No matter how, no matter what. I just want to love them and not fear them.
Hope this message come across with open arms and open heart.
From,
Adam Rick Taylor
It saddens me that the people that I have known as friends for a long time have betrayed me, one way or the other.
The thing is that I do not even know what wrong I have done or what evil I have committed.
All I ever do is try to be there for them, lend them a helping hand and always be there for them no matter what happens, good or bad, we all have to help each other.
Instead of the "give and you shall receive", I get a rapier being stabbed in my back and through my heart.
Tell me, is it a sin to love one another, accepting siblinghood?
WHERE IS THE LOVE?
All I ever wanted is for me to live a healthy and happy life. Is that so much to as for?
Anyway, I do hope that I have the courage to face the future.
And I also prayed to God that they, especially someone, will still be my friends. No matter how, no matter what. I just want to love them and not fear them.
Hope this message come across with open arms and open heart.
From,
Adam Rick Taylor
Just a simple humanitarian issue
The moment one hates a human being is the moment one kills a human being.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Renewed Fantasy
OK! I have officially moved on from that ordeal.
And I promised that I will work towards settling down with the most wonderful person that I have known. My one and only Charlynn also known as Arisa Gold.
Anyway, here's something that I wanted to share for quite some time now.
So, enjoy!
English Version is right here: http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm6338720
P.S.
And I promised that I will work towards settling down with the most wonderful person that I have known. My one and only Charlynn also known as Arisa Gold.
Anyway, here's something that I wanted to share for quite some time now.
So, enjoy!
English Version is right here: http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm6338720
P.S.
I LOVE YOU, CHARLYNN!
From,
Adam Rick Taylor
From,
Adam Rick Taylor
Sunday, August 22, 2010
A Fork in the Road
Seriously, I'm not sure how to put this. But I'm now faced with a difficult decision.
Before my current girlfriend, there was this person that I have known beforehand. She was and still is a good friend. However, it took me 3 years to realize that I actually like this person as more than a friend.
I kept telling myself that it was all just an infatuation as I already am in a relationship. However, as time goes by, I could not let it slide no matter what. I really have feelings for her.
Maybe it's due to me being in such a situation and I only have myself to blame for all this.
Just to make things clear and proper, I still love my girlfriend and I would want to marry her.
But now, I really have to choose.
The catch is that I might not have enough time to come to the stand.
The illness that I'm currently having is gradually getting worse as I speak. And I do not want to rush myself solely because of this.
I cherish both of them.
I even can go far to say that I love my family, my relatives, my friends, and also strangers and enemies, for we are brothers and sisters of humanity.
Strangely, my past is catching up to me and it is haunting me as if it is happening now.
I don't want to live in fear anymore! I want to live with love, no matter how painful it is, I choose to love.
I am entitled to love and I will make full use of the opportunity to love.
To summarize, I really love my girlfriend and would like to marry her. Also, I like my friend as more than a friend. And above all, I must learn to love God.
From,
Adam Rick Taylor
Before my current girlfriend, there was this person that I have known beforehand. She was and still is a good friend. However, it took me 3 years to realize that I actually like this person as more than a friend.
I kept telling myself that it was all just an infatuation as I already am in a relationship. However, as time goes by, I could not let it slide no matter what. I really have feelings for her.
Maybe it's due to me being in such a situation and I only have myself to blame for all this.
Just to make things clear and proper, I still love my girlfriend and I would want to marry her.
But now, I really have to choose.
The catch is that I might not have enough time to come to the stand.
The illness that I'm currently having is gradually getting worse as I speak. And I do not want to rush myself solely because of this.
I cherish both of them.
I even can go far to say that I love my family, my relatives, my friends, and also strangers and enemies, for we are brothers and sisters of humanity.
Strangely, my past is catching up to me and it is haunting me as if it is happening now.
I don't want to live in fear anymore! I want to live with love, no matter how painful it is, I choose to love.
I am entitled to love and I will make full use of the opportunity to love.
To summarize, I really love my girlfriend and would like to marry her. Also, I like my friend as more than a friend. And above all, I must learn to love God.
From,
Adam Rick Taylor
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Return to Innocence
Now, I know that I no longer talk about my personal stuff here anymore and all.
But this really need everyone's attention.
I know it is such short notice, but lately, I've been thinking.
With all my friends' problems, issues, and other personal matters keep being either unsolved and/or piling up just kept going, whether I like it or not, I have decided that it is best to help them as much as I can. Even if it means having me being back to my old self just to fulfil the task at hand.
This is because of some strange reason that I did not dare to raise. Even if I did, I knew that it would hurt other people's feelings. However, if I keep it enclosed for a fucking long time, I would suffer in silence in the end.
Anyway, just a re-cap of what is going on, here are the scenarios that is played in my mind.
Case 1: Forgotten Origins
"When you get the money, you get the power. When you get the power, you get the woman. When you get the woman, you forget your friends. Is that even worth fighting for? Is that even worth dying for? Think about it. Now you have lost the one who loves you the most, and he's not coming back to you anymore!"
Case 2: Platonic Dilemma
"After all these years that I have been searching, the one has been right in front of me this whole time and it took me 3 years to realise it? Seriously, what am I going to do?"
Whatever it is, I do hope that I have the courage to face up to Case 2. As for Case 1, it is a Cold Case.
That is all for now.
But this really need everyone's attention.
I know it is such short notice, but lately, I've been thinking.
With all my friends' problems, issues, and other personal matters keep being either unsolved and/or piling up just kept going, whether I like it or not, I have decided that it is best to help them as much as I can. Even if it means having me being back to my old self just to fulfil the task at hand.
This is because of some strange reason that I did not dare to raise. Even if I did, I knew that it would hurt other people's feelings. However, if I keep it enclosed for a fucking long time, I would suffer in silence in the end.
Anyway, just a re-cap of what is going on, here are the scenarios that is played in my mind.
Case 1: Forgotten Origins
"When you get the money, you get the power. When you get the power, you get the woman. When you get the woman, you forget your friends. Is that even worth fighting for? Is that even worth dying for? Think about it. Now you have lost the one who loves you the most, and he's not coming back to you anymore!"
Case 2: Platonic Dilemma
"After all these years that I have been searching, the one has been right in front of me this whole time and it took me 3 years to realise it? Seriously, what am I going to do?"
Whatever it is, I do hope that I have the courage to face up to Case 2. As for Case 1, it is a Cold Case.
That is all for now.
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