All it takes is a spark and you get...

...one's anger ready to explode in an entire post!

And for those of you who have no idea what I'm up against, go and fuck yourself. I'm not gonna bother explaining.

This is because there are people who have the nerve of not talking to me anymore.

Ya! I know that you people hate this type of guy. I know that you people despises this type of guy. And above all, I know that you people will not love a guy like me!

Whatever it is, if I don't have any more love in this world (family love does not count in the affairs of the heart.), I might as well say goodbye and "fly away".

So, please, whoever is reading this, please love me...

...I... am... slowly... transforming... into... something... I... don't... want... to... become...

So, please, please love me.....

...before... it's... too... late.....
________________________________________

"Say Anything" by X-Japan

zawameki dake ga kokoro wo sashite
kikoenai mune no toiki
toki wo wasurete motome samayou
takanaru omoi nurashite

Run away from reality I've been crying in the dream
ka'ri tsuita toki ni furuete
yugande mienai kioku kasaneru
kanashimi ga kieru made

You say anything kizutsuke au kotoba demo
Say anything tachikirenai kokoro ni
You say anything Just tell me all your sweet lies
Say anything enji kirenai kokoro ni

If I can go back to where I've been
yume no naka ni dake ikite
owaranai ame ni nureru
nagareru namida wo hakujitsu yume ni somete

You say anything Whatever you like to say to me
Say anything You leave me out of my eyes
You say anything All I can hear is voice from dream
Say anything You can dry my every tear

akari no kieta On the stage hitori mitsumete
ta'risugita hibi ni dakareru
kowashite kure nani mo ka mo kazatta ai mo
toki no suna ni kieru made

You say anything kizutsuke au kotoba demo
Say anything tachikirenai kokoro ni
You say anything Just tell me all your sweet lies
Say anything enji kirenai kokoro ni

Close your eyes
and I'll kill you in the rain
kirei ni koroshi aeba
za'ka no bara ni umoreta
shijin no namida wa kioku ni nagasarete

Time may change my life
But my heart remains the same to you
Time may change your heart
My love for you never changes

You say anything kizutsuke au kotoba demo
Say anything tachi kirenai kokoro ni

You say anything... Say anything
Now you've gone away
Where can I go from here?
Say anything... Say anything...

I believed if time passes,everything turns into beauty
If the rain stop, tears clean the scars of memory
away.
Everything starts wearing fresh colours.
Every sound beginds playing a heartful melody.
Jealousy embellishes a page of epic.
Desire is embraced in a dream

But my mind is still in chaos and.............

I am Officially No Longer a Teenager! (Part 2)

Actually, yesterday was my birthday.

My medical checkup is really fucked up. Got PES Status A.

Anyway, in other news, my family threw me a surprise party. I didn't expect them to come up with something like that but at least I'm grateful for that.

So, here are some pictures for me to share:

The Birthday Cake:


Me Cutting The Cake:


So there. I have become the big TWO-ZERO. 20 years old.

But it's OK.

From,
Alucard "Dracula" Yamada

I am Officially no longer a Teenager...

Yup, as the title said, I am no longer the teenager you all know and love and hate.

As of now, April 21st 2008, I am officially 20 years old.

So, a happy birthday, a sad birthday, an angry birthday for me.

From,
Alucard "Dracula" Yamada

P.S. I'll still keep the Dracula name UNTIL I find myself the love of my life.

And anyway, my birthday wish?

** ** *** *** * *** ** ******* *******.

That will be all.

Lesson learnt: A lone wolf will always be a lone wolf

Why is that?

Why do I have this curse?

Fuck luck! Fuck fortune!

Those two things never help me one bit.

And yeah, Fuck romance!

It's just a heartbreaker that feeds on lonely souls.

Seriously, no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I change, it still is bloody the same!

What do they say? "Tis better to have love and lost than to never to have love at all"?!

Fuck that shit!

I'd rather not have love that is lost.

Cause you know why? It devastates me.

Seriously, it's not disease that ravages one's life. It's love.

And they say that it is a beautiful thing? FUCK THEM!

Tell me why does falling in love feels such a burden?

Why does it have to infect someone with hopes and dreams and be human, only to end up feeling heartbroken and soul shredded?

Crap!

Sad and Angry at the same time...

Yup, that's how I feel right now.

The girl that I have been chasing after for months, have fallen for another person.

And it really hurts me.

And of all time, why must it happen the week before my birthday.

But seriously, it matters if she realises my love for her or not.


Crap! Another week, and I will no longer be a teenager.

I will eventually touch the TWO-ZERO mark.

Yup, I will be 20!

SHEESH! WHAT A LAUGHINGSTOCK I HAVE BECOME!


Being 20 and STILL NO GIRLFRIEND!

WHAT A LOSER! WHAT AN IDIOT!

And worse, WHAT A PARASITE I HAVE BECOME!


Seriously, I have been wondering. Am I that parasitic in this world?

Am I a disease that people fear and disrespect?

What am I? WHO AM I?


Anyway, I just hope that she's happy. That's all that matters?

For now, yes.


But for me? I WILL BE FUCKING MISERABLE FOR MY ENTIRE LIFE!

AND THIS ISN'T A BLOODY PHASE THAT I'M GOING THROUGH!

NEVER IS AND NEVER WILL BE JUST A FUCKING PHASE!!!

WHY?


CAUSE I LOVE HER! I LOVE HER WITH ALL MY HEART!

AND YEAH, IT'S MY FAULT FOR BEING A COWARD!

IT'S MY FAULT FOR NOT TELLING HER WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE TO!

IT'S ALL MY FAULT!!!


FUCK!!!!!


Anyway, that's all of my rants for now.


Nothing can help me now. Nothing.


So, I just pray for her happiness.


And as for me? I want to be happy, but I can't.


But I will never give up. I will never surrender.


As long as I live, I will fight with honor.

As long as I fight, losing is not an option.

And as of now, my birthday wish will now be altered.


Over and out!


From,
Alucard Yamada

P.S. Current mood: In an unrest. In a rush of panic. In a state of shock.

Rider Status

Rider 1 (R.K.): OK
Rider 2 (N.S.): NG
Rider V3 (Y.K.): NG
Riderman (S.M.): NG
Rider X (M.A.): NG
Amazon (R.S.): NG
Stronger (S.M.): NG
Skyrider (M.F.): OK
Super-1 (A.T.): OK
Rider ZX (H.N.): OK

Will not explain further.

If you want to know, you must watch the movie "Kamen Rider THE END".

From,
Alucard Yamada

Crap! How I suck at fitness tests...

Yup, it's me again.

Only this time, I'm battered out.

Came in strong, but to no avail.

I lost the fight.

And yeah, all that happened yesterday.

And I'm still in pain.

From,
Alucard Yamada

Laptop gone haywire (Part 2)

So, since I have a lot of restoring to do, I might as well get a new one.

But do not fret! I will be back.

From,
Alucard Yamada

Laptop gone haywire

Alright guys.

Sorry for the sudden news.

Yeah, my laptop kind of act funny nowadays, and the BSOD appeared today. Not once, not twice but LOTS OF TIMES!

Man, I seriously need to either repair and restore this set, or if worse comes to worse, buy a new one.

Crap! How I hate this, just when I was about to do my presentation, this shit happens.

So, you guessed it, I won't be online for a few days, until I resolve this matter.

Other than that, I'm out of business.

From,
Alucard Yamada

Time to kick some ass!!!

Yeah, presentation is due next week and I have to finish my slides in proper.

Anyway, it's time for me to kick some idiot's ass!!!

Don't worry, it's my rival. Not an enemy, not a friend, but a RIVAL.

Seriously, where's the healthy competition? And now that idiot is resorting to stealth! I'll show that fucker who "he" is dealing with.

That's enough of my rants, now I've got to concentrate on my FYP.

From,
Alucard Yamada