As I Lay Thinking...

I think about what I've done. What mistakes that I have commited.

And yeah, reflect on my life.

For those of you who don't know, I'm on Medical Leave today.

So, I have plenty of time to review what I have achieved so far.

Anyway, I just want to say that ever since I knew my someone special, I have started to have a purpose in life. And that is to love her, cherish her, remember her, take care of her, and if possible. be hers for all eternity. And yeah, I'm referring to my darling, Yunku. She is ultimately the nicest, kindest and the most wonderful person I have ever known.

And yeah, looks, age difference and where we come from don't matter to me.

It's the personality and trust that's important in a relationship. And yeah, patience and communication is the key in ours.

On another angle in this matter, most of my friends are against this. FUCK THEM! They can go fuck themselves for all I care.

As for my family, they have mixed reactions to this. I have no comments on that.

Whatever it is, I will never give her up. I will never let her down. I will never run around and desert her. I will never make her cry. I will never say goodbye. I will never tell a lie and hurt her.

She's the reason why I keep fighting for each and every day.

She's the reason that I have become stronger in every aspect of my life.

Anyway, here's a quote from one of my favourtie characters, Rocky Balboa:

"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't 'bout how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!"

For once, I agree with this statement.

This statement have opened my mind to things.

And that's why I shall fight to remain positive in every aspect of my life.

And yeah, to Charlynn a.k.a. Yunku: I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!!! *gives her a loving hug and a passionate kiss*

And in so doing, I will give it my all to you.

From,
Alucard Yamada

The blog post with no name

Actually, I don't know what to say.

But here is a song dedicated to my love.

I will put it in my Music Corner later.

But first, the lyrics to the song are in this post below:
________________________________________

"At The Beginning" by Richard Marx and Donna Lewis

We were strangers
Starting out on a journey
Never dreaming
What we'd have to go through
Now here we are
And I'm suddenly standing
At the beginning with you

No one told me
I was going to find you
Unexpected
What you did to my heart
When I lost hope
You were there to remind me
This is the start

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

We were strangers
On a crazy adventure
Never dreaming
How our dreams would come true
Now here we stand
Unafraid of the future
At the beginning with you

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

I knew there was somebody somewhere
Like me alone in the dark
Now I know my dream will live on
I've been waiting so long
Nothing's gonna tear us apart

Life is a road
And I want to keep going
Love is a river
I wanna keep flowing
Life is a road
Now and forever
Wonderful journey

I'll be there
When the world stops turning
I'll be there
When the storm is through
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you

Life is a road and I wanna keep going
Love is a river I wanna keep going on....
Starting out on a journey
Life is a road and I wanna going
Love is river I wanna keep flowing
In the end I wanna be standing
At the beginning with you.

From,
Alucard Yamada

Operation: Disturbia

Well, this is it.

Why do I always feel that I could not trust people anymore?

I mean that some of my friends have crossed the line and involve my loved ones, my personal life, etc.

Seriously, I really can't stand people who gets on my nerves just because they find it funny.

Whatever it is, FUCK THAT SHIT!

I'm just so annoyed by some people that I will gladly play psychological games to them. Let those fuckers have a taste of their own medicine.

And yeah, one more thing.

Since the fucking when does playing soccer involves money?!

For fuck's sake, soccer IS A GAME AND WILL ALWAYS BE JUST A GAME!

Why do I need to pay for crappy miscellaneous fees?

Whatever it is, I vow that I am no longer involved in the team. EVER. FUCKING. AGAIN!

And yeah, another thing.

I am now feeling upset and angry.

So, If you DARE to cross the fucking line and involve my everything, you will be screwed. Until to the extreme that I'm gonna put MY foot in YOUR ass!!!

From,
Alucard Yamada

P.S. I'm feeling not too well recently, so forgive my crudeness.

每奋斗

是到不能很好地
从说对言词不能
一点点支撑互相平时拙笨的这个梦
的重要的忘记了东西是吧
已经不能返
回的应该看不见的道
的前头一同跨过了的

以被与不数断的笑声一起辣的时候间共同分
享间隙没有的光包围的五日作为目标

登上着如果一边
忘记认为当然未来
一直连接了已经不变的时候从今
天开始一边注意到了
不同的朝日来了到迎
接的应该看不见的道的前头已经各自不同的风

是分享不数断的我们
的每天强的强的纽
带间隙没有的光中以明天作为目标的

为了找确实的回答把
那样出发我
们制作了的很多的笑声和梦做为胸现在…

I have a confession to make...

OK. I don't need actual help or anything. However, I feel that it is more appropriate to post it here.

Anyway, here's my problem, I mean dilemma.

Why am I trying to reject something, I mean someone from my life when I actually have feelings for her in the first place, even though we are from different continents?

Why do I always meet her in my dreams almost all of the time?

Can I actually get to see her in person?

And above all, will I be able to convey my feelings for her?

But still, will she hate me for it or will she love me for it?

I'm just afraid that I had made her angry or made her upset.

But whatever it is, I just want to say "I'm sorry" to her.

If can, I would also like to say "I love you" to her.

Too bad, I'm just a coward. I'm just a man hiding behind a monitor screen.

How I wish I could apologise to her and confess to her in person.

From,
Alucard Yamada
(Adam Akado "Alucard" Yamada)