A Rant On The So-Called Friends (And Some Fanboy Issue)

Have you ever felt something like a dagger being thrusted into your back multiple times by multiple number of people? That's what exactly how I feel for the past few weeks.

To be honest and in good faith, this is starting to bother me too much.

If only I heeded that advice, that is to not to get too professionally involve with them, these trivial things wouldn't have happened.

I mean it when I say that I have regretted joining a community in which I am prepared to be a fan of.

Anyway, just a low-down on what my naive brain is registering for the community.

Firstly, it was a community that is made by fans for fans. Gradually, it became a stiff upper lip and starting to involve some professional aspects to it. And now, it became something in which I was not able to recognise anymore.

Where is the "for fans by fans" mindset gone to? Down the drain? Vanish into thin air?

Where is the love?

Now, my mind has really gotten a cruel wake-up call. And I have learnt it the hard way.

One could not count on a community forever.

So what if it is successful? Where was the passion that I used to recognise from them? Why are they evolving into workaholics who wants fame and fortune type of monsters?

As I type in this entry, I realised that one can't be a fanboy forever.

One has to think for themselves and one must make the ultimate sacrifice, even if it means having to give up the community in which he like to do the stuff that the community offers.

Now, don't take this personally, but I have no choice but to stop relying on the community for things that they will keep continuing to deny me of.

Looks like I have to take the other path instead.

-Finish NS
-Go for broke to study in a private university part-time (while juggling full-time work)
-Have enough money and documentations to get the f*** out of this place
-And then, settle down, have kids, work to build up a joint-venture

That will be all for now.

I apologise if I sounded harsh, but this is what I truly feel from the bottom of my heart.

From,
Akado Kogane

P.S. I don't hate you guys personally. I just hate what you guys have become. I no longer know what you guys are anymore.